Our Journey to Earth

Our Journey to Earth
Today we journeyed to a distant planet known as "Earth." The main life form on this planet are humans, an organized group of emotional and vivacious individuals. Our crew traveled to a large building the humans named a "Library." This structure contains lots of information of the human's existence. During our mission we found a large assortment of writings which we could not translate, but we also unearthed pictures of humanoids in many activities they share with one another. The humans appear to be spirited and well-groomed and have established a successful civilization.
We encountered a picture of humans with long, white sticks of some sort, sticking from their aperture on the front. The humans labeled these sticks "cigarettes" and appear to be happy and carefree when they are "smoking" them. In this illustration, there seems to be two species of mankind: males and females. The males seem to be physically superior and raw. The females appear to be sexy, seducing, and physically prepared. There also seems to be a strong sexual attraction between the two species. The setting in this picture is very relaxing and seems to be a place of excitement for the jovial humans. Cigarettes appear to be a source of absolute happiness.
Another source of satisfaction for the humanoids are bottles of alcohol which seem to bring smiles to dispirited individuals. This picture that I'm looking at now has some type of amphibious creature saying the same word "Budweiser". This small creature is in the middle of a large humanoid gathering, where females are sitting on the laps of males, and everyone seems joyful. Everyone has their forelimbs risen, holding drinks, and there appears to be three females for every male. The location of the gathering is in a large structure on the edge of a very large body of water.
As I look through the library, another ad catches my eye with the title of "Olympics". Humans in this picture seem to be having some type of competition. It includes many small pictures of these humans in different events. There is a picture of a humanoid dressed in colorful clothing and throwing some sort of large stick. I'm not too sure if this is some sort of organized army, because another small picture shows a very large male holding device that appears to cause the male to strain. There is also a small picture of many females moving through water. The last small event displays a physically built male tossing a steel ball. There are colorful rings underneath the title which brings some type of symbolic meaning to the picture, that we can't seem to distinguish.
Another page in these "magazines" shows a female laying out near a large body of water with a bottle in her hand. The woman looks very seducing to a male alien such as myself. She is showing most of her skin and is rubbing herself with liquid from the container. Her body captures the sunlight and the large bodies of water seem to rise high in the air. The females have large features on her chest that I can't seem to interpret, because they are covered. If all women on earth look like this, life must be great for the males.
The final picture shows two old males of great importance. One can distinguish their importance because they are on the cover of the magazine and are pointing at one another. It appears harsh words are being expressed toward each other. They are both wearing a long band from their upper appendage that hangs and gives a very formal appearance. I believe he is the humanoid's leader, because he has one striking feature: the top of his head is covered with white hair. No other males in the pictures contain this white substance which displays their authority.
By observing the pictures of these humanoids and their activities I believe I have learned a lot about their lives. I believe the humans lived carefree lives and did not experience worries that we the members of the Planet Xernon encounter. I admire their ability to be carefree and live lives I can only dream of. If only I could translate these writings I could learn more about these magnificent beings.